just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
