I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
