just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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