Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
