woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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