ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
