he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
