I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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