Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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