Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
