Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
