I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
