Acid is not a monday night drug
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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