I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
