stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Randomize
