I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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