A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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