My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
