moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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