even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
party gras won. party gras always wins.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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