How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
