i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
