I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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