Do you still have your period?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize