do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
