idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize