It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
