That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
