i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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