he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
