wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
