um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
