Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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