did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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