wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize