I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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