Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
we're so committed to being not committed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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