Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
