I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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