Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize