flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize