i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
