Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
