They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
