Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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