Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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