just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
