Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
