He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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