4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
