we have pet lesbian snakes
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize