were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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