Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
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She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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