i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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