Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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