so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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